In my previous life, I was a paddler. I aspired to great heights and trained day in and day out to reach my goals. A Hungarian coach also added to the discipline and focus required to be someone and get somewhere. I guess some might call it dedicated while others may see the regime as quite anal.
Along the way, I adopted the training mantra "Tired is not an excuse". This helped me push harder, reach further. Giving in was not an option.
And now, I hate any form of training programme. Show me a structure and I get a panic attack. I am happiest going with the flow and riding how I feel. The years have mellowed me and I realise that there are other ways to attain one's goals.
Over the last three months, I have steadily built my base without feeling that I have overdone it or that I am being pressurised into "must" ride instead of "want to" ride.
Until this week.
All of a sudden, I am tired. Both mentally and physically. And in this reincarnation, tired is an excuse to take a break and back off. We had some great rides over the long weekend but all of them seemed to take more effort than normal. I felt sleepy and couldn't wait for the end. I also find that this is when negative thoughts start to edge in - just the merest hint of shadow in the mind.
So, time out. I will probably spin a little, try to run a little and next week, I will be off for a full seven days while I am at the MTN Panorama Tour. And so April will come to an end.
Then it is May and a new start with only the Freedom Challenge to plan for and to dream about.