Err, sorry, he says as we head off for the third day of strenous riding in the mountains of Sabie. I'm not very conversational today. Its usually when I don't have enough sleep.
Oh, I say all sympathetic - what happened?
Well, you see its like this. After two days of riding, my bowels haven't moved yet. So driven to desperation, I resorted to laxatives last night. They're supposed to work within a hour but they didn't so I ended up taking three!
Now I can see kak coming and this was coming from a looong way off. Spellbound, I listened as did a couple of riders who slowed their pace to hear more.
And... I prompted.
I felt so terrible, he continued, that I couldn't sleep at all. And then this morning, they kicked in and I had to walk down the stairs backward so I could keep my butt cheeks together so I didn't embarrass myself.
My mate was in the shower hogging the bathroom, so I ended up pacing around the kitchen table with a tight ass cos I knew if I relaxed the muscles, I was history.
By now, we had ridden off the road in hysterics.